A.J. Parker grew up in Phoenix, Arizona, and then spent some time on the East Coast trying to make up for all that water she lost. She’s won journalistic awards from the Columbia Scholastic Press Association as well as the Arizona Interscholastic Press Association and the National Scholastic Press Association. Now, she’s venturing into the literary world. Her poems have and will be published in Synkroniciti, Feminist Food Journal, and Ink in Thirds. You can follow her at @ashleyjadeparker on Instagram/Threads or at @ashleyjadeparke on X/Twitter. Find A.J. on Instagram!

EXCERPTS FROM 'A FRAGMENTED ACCOUNT OF ALL THE PEOPLE I’VE EVER THOUGHT I LOVED’

march 27, 2024

dedication:

C.G.

A.G.

C.H.

for each poem respectively :)

white shoulders,

collar bones made of stardust.

the ridges of a spine

traced up and down

the surface of your universe.

underneath jawlines

were kisses of a bruised porcelain.

your fingers touched the milky way

while your hair tangled around comets.

your pupils were each a blackhole,

and your irises were exploding stars.

your mouth was every bitten tongue

you had ever reversed.

the goosebumps on your skin

were craters in your heart.

the tinge of your lips

pulled me apart.

i never understood

how heads could become naked

but you looked at me

as if you could read everything inside of me.

your kiss touched my skeleton.

sometimes, your nails ripped out my organs,

and sometimes, your fingers sewed up my gashes.

your eyelashes fluttered against my cheek,

your laugh echoed like the sea,

and you looked to me like you were lost to gravity.

our galaxy anatomy always shook me,

always took me.

you hid your scrapes and bruises so well,

you hid your starlight and your dark nights

and sometimes at morning light,

i could see the sight of your demanding heights.

together, the universe took apart every single cell of ours

and laid them side by side.

we tried to love them

and finally understood

how heads could be naked

between covered heartbeats.

if was like every concealed look

had never been wasted,

every lovely thought

had never been covered,

but instead locked inside our chests.

kiss me, you daring vine of veins,

twisting across the universe.

i love your head

more than i love your skeleton

and no oblivion

will ever take that from me.

(how do you describe it?

you see the ocean’s waves

but not the blood underneath it)

V. GALAXY ANATOMY

falling in love with you is like walking out on a pier with the waves crashing all around me. and it’s scary and i’m cold but i have to and i will and the clouds are dark but the sky is colorful and together they’re so beautiful it’s unbearable. the sky looks like war ending in organized disaster and the water is so calming it’s almost like nothing else exists.

i thought every piece of you was a new sunset every night. i told you “i don’t want to just think so, i want to know so” when i told you about the book of people i thought i’ve loved. i told you that you’d be the first i truly loved. i wish i had been wrong. i didn’t want to just think i loved you, i wanted to know i loved you, and as soon as i knew, the pier gave way.

for the record, i loved you. i wanted to lie and say i never did. but i loved the little curls on your head and with the way you looked at me i wanted to love all the bad out of you. i wanted every touch to make up for every punch you ever took to the face. we took turns loving each other, and unfortunately, i was last.

FOR THE RECORD

can we please stop doing this?

i want to stop looking at the freckles on your face like they’re constellations.

i want to stop waiting for some wavelength to finally find me.

i want to drive my car into the smoke of the evening,

wait in the dark as the streetlights go off,

bruise the bruises on my knees.

i want to combust, to atrophy into nothingness.

i don’t want you to remember me like this,

as a member of the earth not wanting to stand still.

because when i look at you,

you’re cold and unrelenting. always there,

but never close enough to touch.

no, i want to stop doing it like this.

falling stars aren’t meant for catching.

II. LAS ESTRELLAS CORREN TAMBIÉN

A.J. Parker grew up in Phoenix, Arizona, and then spent some time on the East Coast trying to make up for all that water she lost. She’s won journalistic awards from the Columbia Scholastic Press Association as well as the Arizona Interscholastic Press Association and the National Scholastic Press Association. Now, she’s venturing into the literary world. Her poems have and will be published in Synkroniciti, Feminist Food Journal, and Ink in Thirds. You can follow her at @ashleyjadeparker on Instagram/Threads or at @ashleyjadeparke on X/Twitter. Find A.J. on Instagram!